Self Control

I am a frequent multi-tasker, however I rarely accomplish anything.  At any given moment I can be doing anywhere from two to seven things at once, and at the same time doing absolutely nothing.  Welcome to the age of technology.  In fact, just before I started writing this post I was on gchat, facebook chat, finding music on youtube, watching baseball, and eating a delicious snack of fresh strawberries from my favorite grocery store, who I am not at all ashamed to mention, Central Market (CM).  By the way, if CM had apartments on top of it, I would be first in line to pre-lease them, but I digress.  Wait…what was I talking about?  You know, before CM?  Oh look, Jersey Shore is on!  How I love these innocent, charismatic guidos, let me count the ways…

My generation, which I adore, has been at the forefront of technological innovation for the past decade.  Alas, it is because of these innovations that I find myself lacking the ability to be productive.  Not because I choose to be unproductive, but because I lack the self-control to do otherwise.  That being said, I know for a fact that I am not the only one who falls into this category.  Self-control, or lack thereof, in my opinion, is not something that is easily thwarted.  It is a ghostly figure that lurks just under the surface, poking and prodding at my brain, nudging it in the direction of leisure and entertainment.  Being a ghost, it is very difficult for me to fight it off (as we know, ghosts are notoriously difficult to locate and deal with, mainly because of their invisibility and shyness of humans).

So many times I have heard the phrase, “Just do it!”  To which I am accustomed to responding, “Does this look like a Nike commercial to you?  Do you see me wearing swooshes?”

This only serves to irritate the person attempting to motivate me, who is most likely telling me this because this person cares about my well-being.  I then assure them there is no phrase on this earth that will motivate me to do whatever meaningless thing they are requesting of me, which then usually ushers on more motivational speech type phrases, which only serves to further distill my attention until it resembles pancake mix being poured out of the bowl into the frying pan, where it will become delicious pancakes and then served to eagerly awaiting children on a crisp and cool Saturday morning.  Please excuse me while I go make some pancakes.